The Best of Kimmy Granger
PornCrush picks the top social media posts of 2023 from entertaining adult star
By Frank Lotion / Contributor
Dec 12, 2023
Forget about the candied pecans, Lululemon high-rise pants or even that double-headed dildo you put on your Amazon wish list. We at PornCrush are here to deliver the ultimate Christmas gift.
Kimmy Granger’s best tweets of 2023.
Unless you spend your entire existence in your goon cave, you’re surely aware that no one, no one, is more entertaining on social media than Kimmy. The Queen of Cowgirl can make you bust a nut—and also a few blood vessels in your eyes from cackling so hard at her wisecracks and rants.
One of these days, it’s going to happen. Someone outside of the adult industry—someone much more esteemed than Frank Lotion—is going to discover Kimmy and give her the national stage she deserves. Could be a movie director or a famous YouTuber. Maybe she’ll be headlining at the Comedy Store or hosting the next presidential ball. But something gargantuan is coming, and we’ll all be able to say, “We knew her when …”
For now, though, Kimmy is the porn world’s little treasure.
So … enough of this simp shit.
Put down the beef stick your grandma mailed you from Delaware, shove aside the charcuterie board and tell Alexa to pause the Mariah Carey Christmas music and prepare to forward these posts to your friends back home. And then get online and tell Kimmy how much you love her.
Merry Christmas - Frank
My plastic surgeon is the sexiest one in LA and no one can tell me different. He’s just got that “thing” about him and he always smells like coffee and latex. I want him to nip and tuck me into a perfect fuck doll. I wanna suck his dick and make him a fucking sandwich. Fuck!!!
— semendemon (@kimmygrangerxxx) December 11, 2023
Annoying? If I could bathe in a tub filled with cum I would. I’d use it as lip balm, skin moisturizer, and mouth wash. I’d encapsulate it and take it as a daily vitamin. I want to be filled up with so much cum that it expels from my fucking nostrils. https://t.co/ij4o2AjY3x
— semendemon (@kimmygrangerxxx) December 5, 2023
These Twitter thots out here like… pic.twitter.com/8Xfhh2vHRD
— Dubzy (@DubzyOnceAgain) November 22, 2023
I would literally drag my pussy across a nuclear field of rusty serrated steel, wearing a mask oxygenated with John Goodmans fart supply, just to have Brad Pitt spit in my fucking eye. https://t.co/fdy7B82AqM
— semendemon (@kimmygrangerxxx) November 6, 2023
This bitch seems like the type who would give hand jobs like she learned her skills from a Bop It. This is the most stinky pussy, toilet paper stuck to her butthole, doesn’t masturbate, and takes boomerangs of herself drinking an americano with no cream or sugar because she… https://t.co/xjmwNHs6sG
— semendemon (@kimmygrangerxxx) July 12, 2023
Put me in a 69 & we’re gonna have a fucking problem. This isn’t high school.
— semendemon (@kimmygrangerxxx) November 1, 2023
I’m not about to plank over you & fake moan with your dick in my mouth. Subdue me to my knees, grab a handful of my hair, & fuck my face til I have spit dripping down my tits like a normal person.
If your dick game doesn’t start my period early, then lower your fucking voice when you’re talking to me.
— semendemon (@kimmygrangerxxx) October 21, 2023
I’m so horny. I want someone to fist me like a muppet and call me by their mothers name.
— semendemon (@kimmygrangerxxx) October 18, 2023
I can’t help that I love big cock.
— semendemon (@kimmygrangerxxx) October 16, 2023
I see one and I wanna bust out my boots and trekking poles and climb that big tasty meat mountain all the way to the tippy top and do a lil split 🥹🍆🤍
Me: you have a beautiful home.
— semendemon (@kimmygrangerxxx) September 23, 2023
Him: I’m a bartender. You’re in a bar.
I’m so fucking horny. I’m also so fucking hungry.
— semendemon (@kimmygrangerxxx) September 21, 2023
I need to get piped while I shovel spaghetti into my mouth.
Blocking someone isn’t enough. I want them to get a hemorrhoid.
— semendemon (@kimmygrangerxxx) September 12, 2023
Him: I miss you 😢
— semendemon (@kimmygrangerxxx) September 8, 2023
Me: no mf you miss this tight fit, extra slip, faucet drip, gorilla grip, wet ass pussy
Other girls: “omg that guy is so cute, I wonder if he has a girlfriend”
— semendemon (@kimmygrangerxxx) September 11, 2020
Me: *rubber necks at guy* *sucks teeth* “I wonder what his fuck face looks like, his balls taste like, and how his flaccid dick moves floating around under bath water. I’d probably let him jizz in my eye”
Do you guys like the shaft of the broccoli or the pubes
— semendemon (@kimmygrangerxxx) May 22, 2023
I hate when people ask me what sign I am. I’m obviously a sign from god.
— semendemon (@kimmygrangerxxx) April 29, 2023
If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night 🤌🏼
— semendemon (@kimmygrangerxxx) May 17, 2023
